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As for jealousy itself — jealousy is natural. I second what Pupu said. I understand the backlash in this thread because it’s not a very savory topic to digest. But it’s true. As I said earlier, I think that a guy with good game knows that he’ll have to display a bit of jealousy — not when provoked, necessarily — in certain circumstances, both to show territoriality and reassure (lightly) his girl that he cares.
Aoefe –
I believe a real man is an authentic man, and authenticity includes integrity. Authentic men don’t test their relationships by provoking jealousy because they don’t have to.
I think this is a nice thought. It’s nice to think that there are men and women out there with so much integrity that they’re above such petty human emotions such as jealousy. But I don’t think it’s very realistic.
LILGRL PERMALINK* September 28, 2009 2:52 pm aoefe –
I have to say I’m deliberate in NOT doing this but wonder if my lack of testing hasn’t actually backfired. I’m not enough of a challange so to speak.
Perhaps. I think this kind of works off the idea of shit-testing. A lot of guys will swear up and down that a girl who “shit-tests” is not the type of girl they’d give the time of day to. But, let’s be serious — any semi-attractive girl not only has to, but is expected to, shit-test.
Hope PERMALINK September 28, 2009 2:59 pm It’s nice to think that there are men and women out there with so much integrity that they’re above such petty human emotions such as jealousy. But I don’t think it’s very realistic.
Heh. I like the way you put that.
The way to deal with jealousy — because it is inevitable in intimate relationships — is to be open and honest about it. This demonstrates “integrity,” so to speak.
The person who is being jealous should admit to the jealous feelings but not attempt to control the other person’s behavior. The other person should be understanding and compassionate, and try to be reassuring in both words and actions.
Don’t be ridiculously manic and insecure if you’re the jealous one, and don’t be ridiculously cold and insensitive if you’re the one whose partner is jealous. In other words, moderation.
